Are you sitting down? :-)

I had a phone call yesterday … from the GIC in Sheffield saying that they’d had a cancellation and could I meet an appointment at short notice? Of course I said yes!

Its on Monday afternoon … three days from now!



Of course being me, things can’t be too easy. The first wave of sadness hit as I drove home. Two months early on the GIC means potentially two months less being in a marriage. My wife was already in tears by the time I’d got home; for both of us things just got very real, very quickly.

We talked again and reached the same conclusion. If I decide to transition, then we will split up. My wife doesn’t understand why I need to do this and still thinks its a choice and that I’m choosing not to be with her and daughter, in favour of some fantasy life. The reality I didn’t remind her of is that I can no longer survive as I am.

But it will always probably look like my choice, that some perversity of my character puts us in misery and penury, rather than just bearing the pain as one would with almost any other illness. I don’t want to be the bad guy, its not my fault!



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