Coming out

The main thing I took from my GIC weekend is the knowledge I do have gender dysphoria and the clinic are willing to help me cope through counselling sessions, either just me or with my wife. If my wife comes, we have the option of trying to work out how to live together or how to split up without triggering blame (unrealistic, me? :-) )

Either way, I have been given the confidence to know my mind and where I’m going for the first time in … forever? I talked to my wife about coming out to my parents and write a letter to them but before I can post it, this triggers another argument/upset about our future, resulting in my wife walking out of the house. I later learn that she went to her parents and outed our situation, and me, to them.

Posting my coming out letter

There seeming little point waiting, I post my parents letter. The next day I get a text from my Mom “…Got your letter. Course we still love you …” and I was really happy, looks like I’m going to be one of the lucky people who’s family supports them!

But …. that evening when I phone, the conversation has a very different tone. My parents are really upset and my Dad in particular doesn’t get it and is clearly quite angry (but controlling it, which was novel!)

In the end, its my wife who helps, bless her. She writes an email to my parents basically having a go at them for not supporting me. My parents write back and a whole lot of air gets cleared … as things stand, my parents are still talking and my Mom will support me whatever, I think. My Dad continues to find it ‘difficult’. But it’s done, number of secrets required in my life is going down :-)

The following Friday, I’ve arranged to meet a friend from work for lunch and I come out to her over a glass of wine, shaking hands, the lot. She was simply brilliant though and after a few open mouthed “really?!!”‘s :-) was able to give me a hug and be really, really *nice*. She’s going to support me and help me when it comes time to tell HR and the rest of the team – I have an ally!

Well, I’m on a roll now, so I contact someone I used to go to school with and dated for a while – she was one of the people who bought me a dress after teenage Rocky Horror (see My Story).  Anyway, I explain over facebook messenger … and she’s brilliant too, being really supportive and just, well, normal with me :-)

To both those friends, I am so, so grateful. I know that I won’t have to do this alone … the future just got a lot less bleak :-)

 

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