All change

It took two glasses of wine but I eventually plucked the courage to talk to my good wife about how I’ve been feeling. Not wanting to upset her but not wanting to lie or settle for something I can no longer sustain either.

We talked about ground rules and how I wanted to look.  On this the conversation took a distressing turn with my body hair free  appearance being described as variously “repulsive” and “like a plucked chicken”.  Ouch.  I tried not to let this get to me but obviously it has to a degree.  Eventually we agreed to let me give it a long term “go”, the final sticking point being the hair on my forearms of all things. I still can’t dress in the house but I can now go out more freely, something I’m looking forward to starting next month (as soon as I lose a few kilos lol!)

Other good news: for the first time in 5 years, my wife has consented to let me keep my female clothes in our house, which is a really great step forward. I am also going to finally pierce my right ear, about 20 years after the left! New earings for my birthday in March!!

Finally, we also agreed to my going to the Doctors to seek referral to counselling to talk about both my gender issues and my inability to believe people truly love me, which is to me directly related but my wife thinks isn’t. I’m worried about the result from this and scared to death about asking the Doctor but maybe I’ll be able to understand whats going on inside my head for once in my life …

So things are looking good so far for 2012 and I’m practically buzzing inside thinking about it!

Take care


 Hands up - you got me!

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2 Responses to All change

  1. aj westwood says:

    nice lisa, some positive steps, tho some hurdles too i see. I do hope you make some kinda progress. I live on my own so i can do pretty much what I like altho GF doesnt like the unhairything either, esp my chest… u cant win em all. Keep smiling tho x

  2. Jayne says:

    Well done Lisa, all the best for the future doc’s appointment :) xxx