Makings of a flawed self-image

I have *always* been female …

… since I first secretly tried to dress by borrowing my mums clothes when in primary school

… since I used to hang round with the girls at secondary school or buy a leotard from a Sun newspaper offer (this is pre-internet days!)

… since puberty and the joy & delight, later dashed, as breast tissue began to grow as it sometimes does in boys

… since I went to Rocky Horror in the 6th form, changed from a shy boy to super confident girl in basque & suspenders blowing kisses to strangers in the street

… since I wore the dresses my 3 friends at school (all girls) had bought for me, in front of them


… but every other day, day after day, week, month and year, I was a boy and treated as such and learnt to behave as such, with all its advantages and temptations. I think this is a social conditioning that can never be undone … that means I won’t ever be a “true” woman, be it physically or mentally.

Question is, can the flawed pieces of me, ever be reassembled into *any* kind of woman that I still, despite everything, think I am?


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